Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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