So drunk its hurt
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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