I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize