whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize