so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
