there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
