All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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