So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
