i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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