therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You were trust falling into bushes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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