HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the condom got lost in my hair
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
