i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
