i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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