I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
