And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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