forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
