k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
