I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
