my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
