Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
