dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
