I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
