Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
