Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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