dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Your penis caused this!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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