I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
