so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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