um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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