dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
