i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
