i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
