Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
