ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
