I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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