we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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