Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
