woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
