i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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