lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize