sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I want to have your abortion
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
