i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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