im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
