I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
