she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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