There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
