So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
