if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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