You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
