you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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