At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
