you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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