Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
