We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I believe in your delicious
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
