my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
