WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
