did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Still dying that you shit outside
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
