i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
