Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
