i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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