I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
