Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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