we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is wine microwaveable?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
