i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
People in love make me want to vomit
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
