im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
