I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
