drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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